Wedding style Dog stew
Serves 30

You will need:
6lbs dog meat * see note
1 1/2 cups vinegar
60 peppercorns crushed
6 tablespoons salt
12 cloves garlic crushed
1/2 cup mild cooking oil
6 cups onion sliced
3 cups tomato sauce
10 cups boiling water
6 cups red pepper cut into strips
6 pieces bay leaf
1 teaspoon tabasco sauce
1 1/2 cups liver pate
1 whole fresh pineapple cut 1/2 inch thick

1. First, kill a medium sized dog, you will need to burn off the fur over a hot fire.
2. Carefully remove the skin while still warm & set aside for later (may be used in other recipes)
3. Cut meat into 1″ cubes. Marinade meat in mixture of vinegar, peppercorn, salt and garlic for minimum of 2 hours.
4. Fry meat in oil using a large pan over an open fire, then add onions and chopped pineapple and sauté until tender.
5. Pour in tomato sauce & boiling water, add green pepper, bay leaf and tabasco.
6. Cover and simmer until meat is fork tender. Blend in pate and cook for additional 5-7 minutes.
* you can substitute a baby lamb for dog. The taste is similar, but not as pungent, the meat will not be as sweet or as rich in flavor.

Now, I know what you’re thinking…That seems like an awful lot of peppercorns!
But, trust the measurements. This recipe has rave reviews. And who doesn’t like trying some ethnic food?!
…eh?
That wasn’t what you were thinking?
Fuck the peppercorns?
Are you freaking about personal effort??? Hey, gourmet meals take a bit of goddamn prep work, ya know!
So, big deal you can’t just pop into the local grocery and buy a nice, shiny package of dog meat.
A nice, thick cut of shepherd steak isn’t laying conveniently in a well lit cooler next to the chicken thighs,
the ground beef, or the pig belly. Unlike those other ‘legal to sell the body parts’ beings, you will have to kill
the dog yourself.
Well, shit. Imagine if in order to put some bacon on top of, well anything really, you had to kill a pig yourself? Then, you’d have to singe the hair off, start to dismember, remove all of the pigs organs, the pigs intestinal track…
And be careful no shit splatters. ….well, I think you get my point.
What a major ass pain that would be. Inconvenient as hell…
Oh, you’re a badass and would do it with glee? That’s the spirit!
Get your ass into the kitchen and cook up some dog stew.
Eh? Eating dogs isn’t your tradition?
What kind of a lame ass excuse is that? Putting bacon on top of ice cream wasn’t your tradition and that didn’t stop you from trying it! #YOLO
It’s perfectly legal.
…what now?
Oh, you love dogs? Oh, come on! Enough with all the lame excuses to not eat them.
I don’t, by default, ‘love’ all animals. I’ve met some prick dogs and bastard cats. I’ve been kicked by a dick horse.
Had my foot stepped on by an asshole cow.
Nah, I am more rooted in the belief in the rights to life…all beings living in accordance with their natures.
What kind of vegan am I to encourage dog meat eating?
The fucking honest kind. I’m just juxtaposing…cos, ya know;
Meat is meat.