Mommy…can I please have a pet celery?…
…I even made a little celery bed.
Daddy, I’d love to snuggle on the couch with my own eggplant
I promise to walk it, and keep it well fed.
If you want to get a beet, get two beets so they’re not lonely when you’re at work
Can Susie come over after school?
She wants to meet my new melon.
Carl’s parents let him have TWO EARS OF CORN!
They’re so soft, and cute. I am jealous!
Mom! Casey took my stuffed okra again!…
…she won’t give it back to me!
Casey, sweetie, give your sister back her okra,
and, maybe I’ll get you your very own pea.
My boyfriends jalapeño doesn’t like me…
My wife is heartbroken
The zucchini she’s had was diagnosed with cancer…had to put it down…
I’m so sorry for her tragic loss….
…I know how tight a bond we form with zucchini.
They become part of the family.
…growing up, my family always had zucchini.
They’re my favorite…arguably, the smartest!
The Brussels sprouts aren’t allowed on the furniture
I’m thinking about stopping at the farm stand,
Gonna finally buy the family a squash.
OMFG! Why buy? …with all of the squash already out there?!..
…you don’t want to contribute to squash overpopulation!
If you really love squash, then adopt, don’t shop!
So many homeless squash…in need of forever homes….
Let’s go to the squash rescue…
The local vegetable shelter….
Careful, Jim, before you knock on that door…see the sign?
Stop hitting that rhubarb! I’m calling the police!
Did you see what they’re doing on the other side of the planet?
They have a vegetable eating festival!
It’s so disgusting…
I cannot look, it’s absolutely horrible…
They claim eating vegetables is ‘their tradition’.
Monsters! It’s awful!
They push sharp metal skewers through them!
You can see the pain!
That poor pepper! Omg, look at that potatoes eyes!
Skewers violently thrust through their living flesh!
One radish
Two radish
Red radish
Blue radish
Mary had a little kale, it’s leaves as green as a meadow
I’m gonna get my kids a spinach….
Teach them about responsibility
Just when you think you’ve heard it all!!!
It’s LEGAL in 4 US states to fuck a cabbage!
Petition! Petition!
What a sick, demented savage!
Check out these pics, I took my broccoli to the lake this weekend…
The basil died, suddenly, yesterday…
What happened?
We aren’t sure, pending autopsy, we are all devastated
That basil was like my own child.




Yeah….this happened.

Dig Out Your Soul ya filthy human.