We need a solution.

Goddamn it, meat sales are on the decline!
It’s those goddamn undercover videos, & workers getting fined!
Animal activism is cutting into profits!  We’re being undermined!
It’s not because animals are intensely confined!
It’s not because workers are cruelly inclined!
It’s not because animals never see sunshine!
It’s not because animals are treated unkind!
Come on, team….let’s pool our minds.
See if we can find
a new plan to get consumers behind
A…solution.  A…mastermind.
Something really well timed…
Something to really prime
So consumers will be more inclined
To buy meat, & leave behind
any sort of ‘cruelty’ remind
We need a solution to keep consumers blind.

I know! I know!
What say you, Wayne?
The solution, I’ve got it!  We can just damage the animals brain!
Holy shit! Yessiree Bob!
We will take away their ability to feel pain!
Neuroscientists snip snip the anterior cingulate cortex
There! We’ve got it sorted!
No more of this animal rights nonsense
Those vegans taking it out of context
Their claims wildly distorted
Profit!  It’s profit that of the most importance
Hurrah, what a solution!
Genetic modification will save corporations
Mass production
Bye bye ‘corruption’
Via ‘cruelty documentation’
Ha! Ha! Take that!
Animal advocates!
The animals won’t flinch now!
We can cut off tails with lop-eared pruners, without the slightest blink from a cow!
No more vegan campaign
They’ll be left unable to complain
Brain damaged animals won’t feel pain
No more ‘humane image’ to maintain
Nothing left for us to ‘explain’
Nothing left but a meat money train.


This is some real shit.
Their solution…

Go Vegan ya filthy human

Dig Out Your Soul