I thought I’d take a moment to share some real gems with ya.
Seriously, if you felt like mining for gold [pyrite] today, read on!

 

I have to admit, I sure have learned a lot from horse slavers [carriage drivers].
Do you, by chance, remember my recent post in regards to horse slavers & their methods used in an attempt to thwart animal activism?
Boy, was I wrong! [not]

 

Here are the top 10 things horse slavers have taught me (so far):

 

1. Horses prefer hauling tourists around a busy city, over having the freedom of an open pasture!

Turns out, horses are absolute workaholics! They don’t want grass to graze, soft ground or dulcet sounds!
Hell no! They want pavement, exhaust fumes & honking horns! Horses are apparently huffers, strung-out on car exhaust, they simply cannot get enough of it! And, before you even think that inhaling copious amounts of toxic fumes are bad for a horse, stop right there! The horse chooses to, Buddy! So, enough with the silly business of thinking horses want to be free in a pasture with other horses. Lol.

2. Eating off the ground in a Pasture [grazing grass] is the SAME as eating grain off NYC streets!

Who knew that pastures were laden with broken glass, motor oil, gasoline, litter, cigarette butts, condoms, etc.
See? …and y’all thought ya knew everything.
Dang!

3. A healthy horse is a happy horse.

Hm, must be true. A slaver said so. While odd…cos ‘happy’ is a human construct, & that’s a big no-no to apply human emotions to non-humans.
Still, far be it from me to point out the obvious, right?
Sick & dead horses ain’t good at pulling carriages around.
So…sick & dead horses= no profit
So…healthy horses= profit
Aha!

4. Carriage horses do NOT collapse…they trip….a lot.

Seems horses have been grossly misrepresented as graceful for far too long.
The ‘grace & polish’ of a horse is a crock of shit…nah, horses are nothing more than workaholic butter-hooves.
That must be why there are so many goddamn horse carriage accidents!
It isn’t impatient or careless motor vehicle drivers in busy city traffic at all!
No! It is purely the fault of these maladroit horses barreling around the city!
Clumsy oafs that they are, unwieldily careening down heavily congested city streets.
You’d think they’d ban horse-drawn carriages!

5. The ONLY manner in which a horse can be properly exercised is by hauling around a carriage.

Next time you see a horse in a pasture running by his/her own free will, know that that is NOT exercising. That’s merely an unhappy & bored horse fantasizing about pulling a carriage full of tourists all over the city.

6. Equine vets are the authority on horses….except equine vets that oppose horse drawn carriages, then, in that case, they don’t know what they’re talking about.

If you want the truth, only listen to equine vets that are paid by cities with carriage horses that are in favor of the carriage industry.
Got it?
For clarification; equine vets that oppose the carriage industry are loons that hug trees, bunnies, & eat rocks, twigs, & know jack shit about horses.

7. While, universally, the burden of proof always lies on the side of the claimant, this is simply not the case with a horse slaver.
Horse slavers are exempt.
For example:

Anyone with eyes ‘Jaysis, making a horse haul a 9 seat carriage full of passengers all day long in the sun is kinda cruel, don’t you think?’
A horse slaver ‘you don’t know anything about horses!’
Anyone with eyes ‘…erm, actually, my cousin has 3 horses, & I have eyes…’
A horse slaver ‘you don’t know anything about horses!’
See? Presupposition rules!
They ain’t required to prove that anyone with eyes knows nothing about horses….they stated that anyone with eyes knows nothing about horses…So, anyone with eyes knows nothing about horses.
Voila!

8. If you oppose the carriage industry, your research is wrong.
If you support the carriage industry, your research is right.

Honorable mentions to-
If you oppose the carriage industry you are *anti-work
If you support the carriage industry you are pro-work.
*Again, presupposition rears its head, you jobless moron!
If you oppose the carriage industry you are anti-science
If you support the carriage industry you are *pro-science
*unless you use scientific facts on horse sentiency in opposition to horses working long hours, & being confined to cramped stalls….then, you’re just a maniac peta-loving extremist animal hater, & your research is wrong…even if it’s right….
Got it?
P.S. Liam Neeson supports the carriage industry! He is a celebrity! See? So there!
Celebrities give good paradigm….ted nugent, bill Cosby, OJ, woody Allen, Michael Vick, mike Tyson, Roman Polanski….

 

9. Pastures do not always equate to horse happiness.

This slaver fact is ALWAYS accompanied by a picture of an emaciated, severely neglected horse in a field.
I know, I know…we want the extreme & we want IT NOW!
Runner up fact- pulling horse carriages does ALWAYS equate to horse happiness.
See? Workaholic, exhaust fume addicted horses demand the industry stay in business!
This is what the horses want, so this is what the horses get!
Also note, that a slaver recently blessed me with the knowledge that ‘pasture horses also collapse’.
While I’m unclear as to why the slaver would tell me that…
Is it because of a previous slaver fact that carriage horses don’t collapse?
So, by getting horses asses out of pastures & onto the streets they are no longer at risk of succumbing to horrific PCS? [pasture collapse syndrome] (Is there a high prevalence of PCS in the pasture horse community??)
Yeah, at best, it would be better to be a carriage horse that trips, as opposed to a pasture horse that collapses….
Right-o

10. Anthropomorphizing horses (or, any animal) is wrong, tree-hugger mentality & just plain silly.
Horse (or, any animal) exploiters that anthropomorphize in an attempt to drive interest to their business is right, entrepreneurial & just plain witty.

Purveyors know that people dig ‘talking’ animals…I mean, check out some memes, man.
Animal activist attempt to show people the similarities between humans & non-humans…But, animal activists have a ‘dubious’ agenda…pushing their wicked commitment to peace!
Slavers do not have an agenda…erm, wait! Yes they do!
Money!

 

Carriage horses that are fed, have shelter & are treated well accept their lives where they are.
It was NOT a career choice.

There is not ONE argument in favor of the horse-drawn carriage industry that isn’t absolutely fucking stupid.

 

Dig Out Your Soul

 

Banning Horse-drawn carriages is not ‘banishing horses from our lives’…
It is the abolition of animal exploitation.
SeaWorld is being phased out…why?
Same reason…their exploitation & abuse of cetaceans was finally recognized for what it is.
All good things take time.
Clock is ticking for the slavers, too…
& They know it.
Tick tock
Tick tock