Vegan Jedi


The ethical ethos of a culinary beast 

In the kitchen slinging nutritional yeast
Chopping nuts, kneading wheat, grinding oats into meats
Pioneering an animal corpse-free, gentle feast
A bowl of chocolate ice cream for grandma?
I’ll create some with cocoa and a frozen banana 
Whip it up fast rocking my vegan pajamas 
Doing it cos I canna!
Vegan maven wanna!
Cooking gentle AF crafting some cheese
Oh, hell no dairy, fucking please
I’ll roll up my vegan mastermind sleeves
Blitzing up some cashews like a breeze
Boil some noodles with the ease of green peas
Voila! Hardcore vegan wizard Macaroni n’ trees
I’m a pig loving, compassionate bacon maker
Bacon shaman making it outta rice paper
I am a pantry raiding liquid smoking fucking McGyver
Fryin tofu fish n’ chips with a side of vegan tartar
This mutha fucking vegan ain’t missin no flavor
My fine tuned produce aisle warlock eye
Abracadabra! jackfruit into chicken pot pie
Artichoke crab cake so good you wanna cry
Badass I am, Vegan Jedi 
Be Vegan, ya filthy human
C’mon kids, don’t be callous fuckers.
Be Vegan
Dig Out Your Soul